Awkward urinal conversations

There were two guys at the urinal.  I was taking a poop at the far toilet and couldn't help but overhear their conversation.  How was your Christmas the first guy asked.  The other guy didn't say anything.  I don't think guy two likes guy one but guy one likes guy two.  How was your Christmas he asked again.  Guy two didn't say anything.  At this point I thought guy one was going to have a pee without a conversation and return to work unsatisfied.  Alas he pushed through and asked again but louder HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS ??!.  Finally, he got the answer he was looking for as guy two grumbled "fine, it's for the kids anyway".  I imagine at this time guy one is peeing pretty good as he got what he wanted.  I was sitting and just a little shocked he went for it the third time.  The step after that would be a tap on the shoulder and that's just asking for trouble.  Thank goodness I had to poop and not pee or I could be guy two right now.

Modern Day Psycho

I don't want to hear any more about the Connecticut shooting tragedy.  I don't want to hear any more because it's not fair.  I don't know these people.  The more I listen to the story the more I feel a connection.  It's a false connection because it's completely one sided.  I'll never share a moment with the victims or the shooter.  People should care more about a person than just how they died.  

I picture that scared young man holding the gun and feeling in control.  For once he has the power.  He pointed his gun at those kids and pulled the trigger over and over again.  I picture the kids screaming as they watch their friends die.  Five minutes ago they were playing with crayons and now they're trying to climb a wall for their lives.

It's too horrible to think about.  I feel like I should cry.  

Some of my facebook friends are gun owners.  They didn't say anything about the victims.  They were talking about gun control.  Most of them are gun owners and they're worried about the government taking their rights.  Twenty kids lay dead at the hands of a madman and they're worried about their gun rights.  Here's a little advice.   If kids die because of a shooting then you aren't allowed to talk about how much you love your gun.  The same thing goes out to the politicians.  Don't make laws in the wake of horror.

Today they're talking about religion and how God didn't step in to save them or how God welcomed those kids into his arms.  How about you talk about football?  Stop obsessing over this because any attempt to rationalize it will make you insane.  

I found this short story when searching for an answer.  It's about a conversation a Zen teacher had with one of his students.  A student filled with emotion and crying, implored, "Why is there so much suffering?" Suzuki Roshi replied, "No reason."

That is the answer.  Something bad happened and there isn't a reason why.  He might have been sick or his parents may have beaten him every day of his life.  It doesn't matter because it doesn't change anything except our opinion.  Any attempt to rationalize the situation will lead to something not real.  Those children and teachers died.  May the friends and family find peace.  May we as a society give the story back to the family.  It's theirs not ours.

The Racist

My neighbor is dying of cancer.  It's terrible.  He has had chemotherapy and radiation for over 2 years.  The doctors finally gave up, but he hasn't.  Two weeks ago I saw him sitting on his deck wearing a superman t-shirt.  It's his way of saying fuck you cancer.  He's a terribly hard working guy.  I always see him in his yard working.  He is now 60 pounds and in a wheel chair.  He needs an oxygen tank.  I saw him drive by on his electric wheel chair and I followed him to his garage.  He looked terrible.  His favorite hat looks 2 sizes too big because he's so thin.  He asked me to pick up a shovel for him and reaching for the shovel I asked "so, election's over who did you vote for?".  He responded angrily "not the n*gger"

I didn't feel sorry for him till that moment.  I looked in his dying eyes and realized how pathetic he was.  I respected him for being a hard worker and family man.  He raised 3 daughters and owns two small businesses.  I lost all respect for him when he said that word.

The day after he said that I was still processing what he said.  I don't know if he's a racist or not.  He's just mad Mitt lost. I haven't heard him use that word before and probably never will again.  Mitt and my neighbor share something in common.  This is last election for both of them.

Modern Day Debating - Mitt Romney

The first few minutes of the debate told the whole story.  There was an overconfident Barack Obama on one side.  His campaign just got through beating the crap out of Romney.  When I say they beat the crap out of him I mean they threw a few jabs and let Romney beat the crap out of himself.  I'm part of Mitt's 47% and he can keep apologizing, but I'm not letting it go.  So in one corner there's an overconfident and obviously tired president and in the other is a raging sociopath who will do or say anything to win.  I feel for the president.  It would be like me fighting someone on meth.  I watched a police training video where they had a meth-head cornered and they used a stun gun on him.  He just fought through the pain.  They had to bring in another cop who used a second stun gun on his neck before he dropped and passed out in a puddle of his own urine.  The point I'm trying to make is that Mitt Romney is like a drug addict.  His drug is control of the American people, Obama is the cop and reality is the shock.    They should have let Biden come in with a second taser.

When I was watching the debate I noticed Obama was looking down most of the time Mitt was talking.  I think he was creeped out.  Willarm Mitt Romney was just staring at him with that fake smile.  It's natural to look away from creeps.   This guy at work likes to talk at break and he is a freak.  I wouldn't be surprised if he had atleast 5 skulls in his basement.  When he talks to me I look down and try not to make eye contact.   Willard should tattoo his face.  I know to look away from someone with a tattooed face.

Willard is also a shape shifter.  Have you ever seen that thing on X-Men?  We'll never know which mitt will show up.  Maybe it's rich mitt who looks down on 47% of the country.  Maybe it's common man mitt who cares about the 47%.  The willard I know and hate is pro life.  The willard 5 years ago was for abortion.  He's a shape shifter and it's hard to punch one of those things.  

All Obama had to do was go up there and say Bin Laden over and over again.  How hard is that?  Moderator: what would you do to fix the economy in your second term?  Mr. President:  bin laden  Moderator: what is your favorite color?  Mr. President: red like the hole through bin laden's face  Moderator: what about schools? Mr. President: we'll be able to fund them....bin laden

I know the right wing media will tear me up for this, but I consider it a tie.  Obama was over confident, tired, and his current job has to be stressful.  

  

down hill both ways

I was on a bike ride in Lincoln.  It was 80 degrees at 8:00pm.  There wasn't many people on the bike trail which is kind of sad.  It's a nice trail.  There is a section with 100s of trees.  The trees have been cut away to form passage.  The trail is the width of a single lane highway and the trees are cut so that two lanes could fit.  The trail dips down and almost feels like I'm in a valley.  Looking closer I noticed the hard work they did.  The trees are 30 foot tall, but the branches are trimmed 8 feet up on the side by the trail.  There is a wooden bridge about 50 feet up the trail.  There isn't any street traffic and I can hear that old bridge when I ride over it.  The wooden beams aren't secured very well and they jump up and down when I ride over them.  It makes kind of a thumping sound like a helicopter.  I looked up and saw a giant cloud that looked like an arrow pointing the way I was going.  I was going to go back home, but decided to keep going.  A guy passed me so I turned up power to my motor.  A hill soon came and I noticed he was peddling very hard.  I coasted up the hill and waved to him.  I worked so hard on this motor driver board that was now pushing me up the hill.  I spent 3 years designing the 500 component board and all the little voltage paths.  None of that mattered now because I was going up hill fast and passing this guy.  The electronic part of it disappeared and became irrelevant.  I wasn't worried about something getting hot.  I wasn't worried about the batteries being drained.  It all just went away and I felt like I accomplished something.  When I finally got home the batteries gave out.  I was out for an hour and the second I got home they were depleted.  I told my wife this story and she said "aww, how romantic".  wth, there wasn't anyone to be romantic with.

Modern Day Olympics

What's wrong with making a car faster or an air conditioner colder?  I'm an American and I like my cars fast and my ac cold.  Why won't we let the athletes release their whole potential?

I'm not saying we should force athletes to take steroids.  That's a terrible idea.  We should just encourage them to use it.  We certainly shouldn't punish them.  I want to see someone run the 100 yard dash in 8 seconds.  I'm sure a horse could do it.  Why can't a human?

I was born a nerd with little athletic ability.  I couldn't be a pro athlete if I wanted to.  I can't use my brain to think the football across the goal line.  I could however invent new types of steroids to help our current athletes be better.  Each team could have a coach, assistant coach, water boy, and steroid expert.  The coaches would need to be armed just in case a junkie athlete goes roid rage on something.

There are too many rules.  Nascar has rules for the type of fuel and engine the cars can have.  I say tear down those barriers and lets put some rocket fuel in the tanks.  In a sport that simple there should only be one rule.  Whoever makes it around the track 90 times the fastest wins.  We're not out to eat popcorn and watch some cars jog around the track.  We're here to be inspired.  Better shoot the drivers up with steroids too.  If you're gonna juice the car better juice the driver.

If we keep our current coarse the athletes will need a lawyer at every match.  Rules bring lawyers.  Lance Armstrong is accused of shooting up with his own blood.  It's called blood doping and he basically gave himself a blood transfusion.  He needs a lawyer now because charges are being pressed against him.  What's this world coming to?  Nature didn't say "Wait tiger don't eat that dear because it's got a broken foot" ...no nature said "eat that gimp dear"

Modern Day Crap on the Radio

I'm starting to believe no junk no soul.

Brad Nowell took heroin because he thought it would make him a better artist.  Guess what...it worked and it also worked for Ray Charles, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley and many more.  I like listening to the music because you can feel some emotion.  They aren't just singing to get a paycheck.  As long as they get enough money for the heroin I'm sure they don't care.  Ray Charles actually beat the addiction. He is the perfect example of the system working.  He took heroin for years made great music and then quit.  It's like a fairy tail ending.  The princess got her prince back.

In my day there was a pretty good chance the band might get too drunk or high to sound right.  That's the only reason to go to rock concerts.  It wasn't rehearsed and anything could happen.  A 90s band would just roll with it.  A bottle could fly through the crowd and smack the lead singer with an above average chance he wouldn't notice.

The tragedy with modern day music is that the "artists" will live a long time.  All my bands died off because of the drug use.  They died legends.  Their music will live on forever.  The crap that's on the radio now will die off long before the "artists" who made it.  Both will die and be forgotten.  

I doubt there is any hope for Justin Bieber.  I'd like to see someone continually dose him with heroin till he created something with emotion or until his brain melted into jello.  

Hatin on the Haters

What would Buddha do?  He'd probably use his zen and hate em back too.  The haters are the people on the air waves preaching about family values.  They're the same people who judge drug addicts and voice their concern with a a belly of prescription pills.  I'm hating on you rush.  I'm not even capitalizing your name you stupid ass.  Social media has changed me.  When I log into facebook and see a talking point from that idiot something breaks inside my brain.  I black out for an hour and wake up in a daze.  After I raid the refrigerator for beer and red meat I realize what I've done.  I've destroyed a republican's brain.  I suppose it's their own fault for sharing the point of view from a racist, fat, hateful idiot.  


It didn't bother me in the 90s.  I could just switch the radio to FM.  The problem is the internet.  I can't get away from the bs.  I refuse to get rid of my facebook page. I wouldn't want to deprive my 20+ friends of my point of view.  It wouldn't be right.  I refuse to delete people for political reasons.  I think if I ignore them it will get worse.  It's my duty as a human person to try and sway these viscous republican monsters from their warped sense of view.  

+1 if you agree they should shoot the crew of fox news into the sun.  

Modern Day Temperature

It is hot.  I found out from a republican friend of mine that the earth is going through a normal climate shift that happens every 1000 years or so.  He also said that volcanoes put out 10 times more CO2 per year than all the vehicles combined.  I wonder if he was talking about earth or some other planet.  I wonder because he said that with a straight face.  I told him that here on earth humans are causing the planet to warm up.  We have smart people called "scientists" that actually know what they're talking about. They measure the level of CO2 and they know that it's rising.  They also know that CO2 traps infrared light.  Infrared light warms makes things hot.  


I swear, the next yahoo that tries force feeding me that crap is going to get knocked out.    READERS, PLEASE USE VIOLENCE AGAINST THESE PEOPLE.  We'll call it a green crime.  It's like a hate crime against idiots.  

Mitt the Twit - Mr. Personality

Mitt the Twit, the British gave him that nickname.  It's clever considering it rhymes and he is actually a twit.  Mitt will never experience a normal life.  I feel sorry for this twit because what I have is so much more valuable than his money.  It's also not for sale.  I'm talking about having wit.  It came from real life events outside of a country club.  I've heard some of his jokes.  He was at a table with reporters and they presented him with a plate of cookies.  He threw out a couple of wise cracks about the cookies saying they were probably purchased at a local 711.  I don't joke about AIDS because it's not funny.  He shouldn't joke about the quality of anything because it's not funny.  Rule #1 when the cameras are on you don't insult a gift.  Better yet just never insult a gift.  Someone worked to give you something.  If I was running for office they could hand me a plate of bull nuts and I'd eat it up and praise the state for producing them.  Just for the record I think bull nuts are gross and anyone who makes and or eats them is a sick freak.  Anyway, I got a little off subject there but my point is Mitt doesn't get it.  He isn't a normal person and he doesn't have any social skills.  Someone should really give him a plate of bull nuts.  I want to see that billionaire gobble up some bull nuts.  Back to subject.  His friends are his friends because he has money.  If he were to become president do you think anyone would give a bull nut about his money?  Do you think Iran cares he made a lot of money at Bain Capital?  I'm sure MahMoud would stop all nuclear enrichment as soon as he heard Romney owns a fleet of jets.  


Romney should give all his money to his kids and live as a normal person for a little while.  No butler, no maid, no jet, just Mitt.  Probably better give him a loaded gun too.


He's on this around the world trip to show that he's a good ambassador.  He's embarrassing me and I feel bad for my parents who are going to vote for this guy.  Don't go to England and say publicly that they aren't doing a good job with the Olympics.  Weren't you ever taught manners?  You can tell them that to their face and then go on camera thanking them for the visit.  You're their guest you f*cking ahole.  Why would you insult them like that on camera?  I wouldn't visit your cult of a church and go on the news saying you believe in magic underwear.  By the way, the Mormons have a lot of strange beliefs like horse drawn chariots being in the United States and magic underwear.  I wouldn't do that because it's not right.  


I'm sure if he found a real religion and got rid of all his money he'd be a normal person.  Right now he's just a whiny and confused billionaire twitbag.  

be patient or become a patient

Even while I write this I feel nervous.  I'm not sure why I'm nervous, but I feel like I should be doing something else.  I have this feeling all the time.  I can't read books because I don't have the patience.  I want to read books.  Reading is much better than watching tv. I can't wait on the toaster.  I always pop it up before it's finished.  I eat raw toast a lot like an animal.  It's like i'm a prisoner in my own existence.

Once in a while I'll get caught up in something and I'll just let it go.  It's weird because I took 3 years to design a PCB but I couldn't wait 30 seconds for the board to cool down and I nearly burned my hand testing it out.  Who spends 3 years designing a PCB and can't wait 30 seconds before trying it out?  Pass the xanax please!

Sometimes the right song will come on at the right time.  I might be pissed off and bam they start playing rage against the machine on the radio.  The car next to me is probably saying "wow a pissed off nerd".  Look at him jamming out.  They're just lucky the road is in between us or I'd kick their ass.  When this happens I'm definitely in the zone and not worrying about anything.

Watching tv with my daughter in my lap.  Everything melts away.  If I sat with her in the morning I'd miss work.  If she'd sit there long enough I'd starve.  She's my whole world.  It's a good thing she can't sit that long.

Some people joke that they'll catch me stare into a ceiling fan and zone out.  We've all done it before.  I think people who disrupt this type of meditation should be shot.  It's like zen.  99 percent of the time I'm doing something or atleast thinking of doing something.  Let me have a moment where I stare into a wall.  This is when the real work gets done.  All the lights shut off and some real 'outside the box' thinking happens.

I imagine that if this feeling was stronger I'd have to be medicated.

Shut the fuck up

I was just watching an Alice in Chains video on youtube and "shut the fuck up" was the number one comment.  More than 20 people gave this guy a thumbs up for telling someone else to shut the fuck up.  Well, what that guy said must have been pretty unpopular.  That guy could have been talking trash about Alice in Chains.  Maybe he was making fun of his voice or comparing him to Nirvana.  That would piss me off.  Layne Staley is dead and his voice lives on.  I wouldn't like some asshole talking trash about his voice on youtube.  His voice isn't like anyone else.  By the picture on his face it's the only thing he has.  He's addicted to heroin.    His existence is pain.  He wants a way out.  His voice sends this picture with every note.  He passes his pain through the microphone.  He wants everyone to know the pain and live it.

The STFU comment was in response to someone saying the resolution on the youtube video was low.  Someone said the resolution was crappy and like 30 users gave that comment a thumbs down and the guy who said "shut the fuck up" got 20 thumbs up.  That's awesomely entertaining because it was probably just some poor lonely nerd commenting on the video quality and a bunch of metal heads pounced on him.

I don't think I'll ever comment on an Alice in Chains video.  Some nutcase might hunt me down like the resolution nerd mentioned earlier.  I hope he's ok and still pointing out flawed video on youtube somewhere.

bask in my awesomeness

I'm trying to narrow down my favorite 3 traits for myself.  It's a difficult task.  I can narrow it down to the top 10 pretty easily, but getting it down to 3 took some time. The top 3 traits have are as follows:

I'm well rounded.  I'll help roof your house then golf with the mayor.  I fit in with a lot of different social circles.  They all love me and it's an inescapable trap.  I call it a black hole of Schwab.  I'll bum your last smoke and you'll gladly give it to me.  I'll drink your last beer and explain how my brand is much better.  You won't help but smile and it wouldn't kill you to drop the temperature of your fridge by a few degrees!  This beer is practically room temperature.

I'm modest.  My modesty came to me as a young child.  I didn't even have to try and I noticed how much more modest I was than the rest of the kids.  There's no telling how far my modesty will take me in this life.  The sky's the limit.

The final trait I chose was just my awesomeness.  It's hard to explain, but imagine if you could wrap up everything in a towel that made all people great and gave it to me.  I simply called it my awesomeness.  The only people I can thank would be my parents for making me, oh wait I guess I'll take a moment to thank myself too.  Most of what I have I had to work for.

Hubble

gathering and focusing light

a mirror now falls from the sky

a million particles of light scattered and divided

taken the place now the weed

once the flower stood beautiful and alive

now covered by the dirt it which it once grew

the flower's only frames

discarded and forgotten

what once has witnessed the birth of light

and the other to which a frame has been known

have now become light

gone but not vanished

This is a nerdy way of saying that we all leave our mark even a little flower's existence got captured by Hubble and the RF got beamed into space. 

Mental terrorism

I'm going to stand on that wound until you cry for mercy and then I'll get real creative with your pain.  What part of you thought it was a good idea to mess with me?  Did you really think that chicken shit trap would work on me?

For once I'm actually on the right side of things.  I've been blamed for something that I didn't do.  Even when it's my fault the person blaming me gets beat up a little.  That's what I do and I'm good at it.   I'm really going to mess this guy up.   It's my boss and he's already mad at me for something else earlier in the week.   He should calm down.  It could help him through this.  I'll use anger against you.

I've made him explain his entire thought process on why he is blaming me.  At this point he already knows his mistake.  I see it in his eyes, but I'm gonna make him say it.  At last he admits it..."I was looking at the wrong spreadsheet"  Man, I need a smoke

Why I'll never vote republican again

I'm not really a democrat.  I'll just be on the other side of the republicans.  Remember George Bush?  What an idiot.  I was ashamed to have him as our president.  It was so dangerous to have that moron control so much.  I've never been so in line with a political party.  I remember watching fox news just to get mad and then turning the channel to msnbc and letting Keith Obermann cheer me up.  He really stuck it to O'Reilly, Rush, and the likes of them.  http://youtu.be/O2KU02lsfH8 There were so many lies.  I turn on the news now and it's boring.  Sometimes I miss getting pissed off at fox news.

Many horrible events happened under Bush's watch.  Two wars, 911, torture, wire tapping, Katrina, and the housing crisis. Some things are out of control of the president.  The president can't prevent a hurricane.  I can't help but wonder if someone smart and hard working was president at that time if things could have been better.  After I come to the conclusion that of course things could have been better I start thinking why they weren't.  We as people always want things to be better and believe they can be. I then realize that one man stood in the way of things being better and I start wondering why he himself can't see that.  If I do a bad job at my work I'll be the first to know it because I can see what a horrible job I'm doing.  The finished product is junk.  Bush was such a horrible president he didn't understand what his finished product was supposed to look like.  He couldn't tell if he was doing a bad job because he didn't know what he was making.  It's not as simple as making a widget in a factory and that's why he has a staff of all those people to feed him all that data and let him know if his country is doing ok.  He probably didn't listen to them because there was a shiny object in the room getting all of his attention.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox0Q4YIdnGI

There were so many lives at stake.  He shouldn't have ran for president.  A competent person could have done a little self assessment and then realized that most of the necessary tools for president of the United States are missing.  The president I envision would have patience, modesty, intelligence, compassion, and a great sense of humor.  I believe George Bush had compassion.
http://youtu.be/wUhCK-JKMQE

The only way a republican gets the white house is with a Mitt Romney assassination

I'm going there because I think Mitt Romney isn't electable.  His own party despises him.  They almost elected Santorum instead!  Christian voters don't like him because of his Mormon faith.  I won't vote for him because I think he's a phony.  I'm also a democrat so I'm used to voting for phonies.  The center won't vote for him because the center is ok with Obama.  Let me just say this....no one is going to be voting for Mitt Romney.  If the republicans want to reclaim the white house they'll have to put two in his chest.  If the republican nominee gets killed before the election it would excite the voters and whoever they nominate as the backup will win.  I'm predicting something exciting this election year with a Romney assassination and a energized republican candidate who will sweep in and steal the election.  If you're name is Ron Paul and you're reading this you should just stay seated.  They could wipe out all republican nominees and you still wouldn't win the primary nomination.  

Know your enemy

I work for a giant corporate behemoth.  This beast will eat your hopes and dreams and come back for the pride.  One of the greatest challenges I'm faced with is knowing all the rules.  They change from day to day and I'm not 100 percent sure they're all real.  Some of them are so ridiculous they must be fake.

I sit on a committee at work.  The committee gave me some great insight into how a corporation makes rules and rationalizes behavior.  I'm a member of the safety committee.  We walk around and audit the plant once a month.  I talk with my fellow workers when I'm auditing and ask if they have any safety concerns.  I normally get back pretty good feedback but once in a while I get a dumbass response like "that person is wearing shoes with her toes exposed".  I can't argue with the person and I have to bring it up during the meeting or I won't be doing my job.  In the meeting I mention how someone thought someone else was wearing uncovered shoes.  I wanted to get passed that as soon as possible but somehow the committee members d welled on it for a half an hour.  I could have mentioned the roof was caving in but somehow this person's toes were way more important to the group.  I don't trust any safety committee members.

Every couple of weeks we get news that some brand of auditor is going to be walking through our area.  We need to prepare for the auditors and make sure we aren't doing any behavior which would get back to corporate saying we're not following the rules.  They have auditors for everything.  They probably have auditors that audit the other auditors.  Auditors have a lot of rule violations they're looking for.  I never get any incite as to what they're looking for and I wouldn't care anyway.  I don't trust any auditor.

Once in a great while we'll get visitors from another division of our company.  They are corporate visitors.  We normally clean up a couple weeks before and they parade them around so they can watch us work for a few minutes.  I feel like a caged animal.  I kind of like the corporate visitors especially when they feed us bread through our cage.

The final set of rule makers are the invisible.  We have so many rules coming from so many different places that it's hard to keep track of them all.  People have actually made up rules to get even with someone pissing them off.  Take for example Jim.  Jim makes Tom mad so Tom might go to management and complain that he's eating crackers at his workcell.  Tom will say that eating in your workcell is against corporate policy.  Instead of checking they'll just have a chat with him and put an end to it before an auditor catches him.  Tom is a douche and should be beat up for doing that.  Now Jim might retaliate with another rule.  The possibilities are endless.

Between the managers, auditors, corporate, and the invisible it's hard to keep track of all the changes and rules that are a result of the corporate machine.  I've realized that anyone I don't work with will undoubtedly turn me in for something that I'm doing wrong.  This is my jungle and I know what's it's like to be the prey.

It's not a cult

A cult preys on the weak and their stupidity.  If I had a cult it would be an elitist cult filled with only the strongest humans.  Why would I need a cult of stupid people?  I'd make them try out to be in my organization.  I think it would be a lot easier to break a smart person than to break a dumb person.  These so called smart people show up to work every day and take orders from a boss who is more than likely a lot dumber than they are.  The dumb workers miss too many days and get fired.  The smart rarely speak their minds because they don't want to lose their job.  I doubt I could trick them with religion but maybe I could with stock options in "the company".  I'd echo the notion that in a few years the company's stock would be worth millions and soon everyone would be rich.  To make them more obedient I'd force them to work long shifts with nothing to eat but vending machine food.  Sleep deprivation and starvation are key ingredients for this to work.  Next I'd make them feel like they're part of a family.  The CEO would be like their father and my secretary would be like their mother.  If they left there would be a chance they'd die.  Outside of the organization there isn't any health insurance and if they got sick they couldn't afford the hospital bills.  The only thing left would be "the message".  The cult members would need reassurance that the collective whole is in control and is an all powerful force.  Any opposition to the collective reasoning would lead to write ups and possible suspension.  I would send webcast messages via email, hand out company tshirts, and maybe even print a book all with the message that we are here to stay.

Replace the idea of religion with money and most of the working class is part of what I consider a cult.  We are all free to leave but the fear of losing health insurance keeps us there.  I could find a new job but I'd just be trading one cult for another.  We're under the control of capitalism and greed.

up the DMT man

Dimethyltryptamine is a naturally occurring psychedelic found in the human body.  We produce it during REM sleep.  DMT is produced in plants.  It's something we can have in common with nature.  Stupid plants quit hogging all the dimethyltryptamine!  DMT can produce anything from a short lived psychedelic experience to a total immersion into a different reality. I don't really care about the pill form, smoked form, or injected form of DMT.  I have always been a cheap bastard.  If my body can make DMT why should I pay for it?  One way of releasing DMT is to have a religious experience.  That's easy enough but I don't like going to church so I can just pray for DMT at home.  Other ways the body gives up the DMT are death, REM sleep, and meditation.  The white light a person might see at the time of their demise has been linked to a release of DMT by the pineal gland.  I'm not quite ready for death so I bought a book on Zen meditation.

I'm interested in self healing.  I am a cancer survivor.  Life is short and we should enjoy it.  Stress is the cause of many of life's problems.  Imagine a bad day at work, the worst day possible.  I'm talking about no coffee, boss up your ass, too much work, and problems at home.  It's too much.  What if you could walk away from it for a few minutes and come back completely refreshed.  My old man would sit on the toilet for a half an hour and read.  It's a great way to get away from everything but it's not for me. I sit completely still in my room and focus my breathing.  After a while it feels like I've woke up from a full night's sleep and many of the questions I've had about my day now have answers.  It's not some hippie bong trip.  It's science.

Plugged in and Jacked up

Got my second coffee and 8 tabs of chrome.  I'm blasting some jerk on facebook, reading about Gingrich losing in Florida, listening to reggae, updating my google+, and blogging about it.  This is my zen.

The coffee isn't as good as the coffee at work.  I wonder what kind they are buying or maybe I'm make the Folgers crystals wrong.  I doubt there is a wrong way to do it.  I haven't cleaned the coffee maker ever.  hmmm

I don't even know the guy who's commenting on my facebook status.  He might be an old friend from college but he isn't using his real name.  His location says Alliance and that's where my old friend was from.  He was always a little nuts and I doubt he'd use his real name on facebook.  Do you hear that helicopter flying overhead?

Gingrich is a pretty smart guy, but he also lacks compassion.  He comes across as a jerk and I don't like him.  I wonder what made this monster.  His mother never hugged him.  He doesn't respect women and that's what scares me.

Shaggy was popular in the 90s, but what the hell happened to him?  His voice is unique.  I can only pick up a few words.  Every time I hear a Shaggy song I think of dumb and dumber the movie and maybe that's what killed his career.  Every white person in America watched that movie and when Shaggy is singing summertime all they picture is Loyd driving those dogs around with ketchup and mustard getting in their fur.

I don't think google+ can compete with facebook.  My mom is on facebook the earth still circles the sun.  If mom finds google+ and signs up the earth will probably spin out of orbit and fly off into a black hole.  I can't put weird stuff on google+ anymore because my dad is following me.  My dad is up to date and his phone is 10X smarter than mine.  His phone doesn't have any hinges and my google+ no longer has any updates about my unit.

Sound of snow

When I was growing up on the farm I could hear the snow falling from the trees.  Everything around me was white and peaceful.  It's been snowing for an hour now.  I went outside to feel the snow hit my face, but there wasn't peace.  All around I hear snow blowers and plows chewing and pushing away.  Things have changed and I miss being home.  I miss the quiet.  I used to love snow when I was a kid.  Snow meant sledding and snowmen and digging tunnels.  Now it means shoveling and being late for work.  It means potholes and accidents on the roads.  I miss going outside with my family and to not worry about anything except staying warm.  I remember one time I lay down on the snow face down for a few minutes and my mom came running out.  She was worried I passed out but I was just enjoying myself face down with nature.

Deciding between two car seats

My wife and I got in an argument over which car seat to buy.  Our daughter is 2 years old and she's outgrowing her current seat.  The argument started because my dad bought our last car seat for $5 at a garage sale.  It worked really well, but we need one for the other vehicle.  My wife is looking at car seats starting at $230!  I couldn't believe it.  These things are expensive.  The lady at the store said we can't put a price on safety, but she can.  My wife has pretty much made up her mind between two models.  They are the Britax Frontier 855ICT and the Graco Smart seat Ryker.

Britax Frontier 85ICT(~$230 @Amazon 1/12/2012)

We have a girl and they don't make this seat in pink.  That isn't a deal breaker with my wife and I'm a little shocked.  Our daughter can stay in this huge thing till she's 85 pounds if we can fit it in the car.  When she goes above 85 pounds we can switch it to just a booster seat and then I'll use the main body as a recliner in my living room.  She can stay in the booster seat until she's ready for college.  According to the Britax website the only con with this model is that it's a little bulky and the fabric isn't machine washable.  It has two drink holders so my daughter can have her two 40oz colas for those long trips.

Graco smart seat Ryker(~$300 @Walmart 1/12/2012)

This one is available with some pink on it.  This seat works up to 65 pounds in the forward facing 5 point harness configuration.  It only has one cup holder and I think that's where they lost me.  It's side impact tested and all that, but if it only has one cup holder I just don't know.  This would have been an excellent car seat if we would have got it when she's 6 months old.  We wouldn't have to buy another one.

I think we'll buy the Britax Frontier model.  It's a little cheaper and has the two cup holders.

Fighting over God

One of the worst subjects with me and any other human is the subject of god's will.  The reason I get upset when someone gets all preachy with me is simple.  I know everything about god.  I hate politicians using his name to get votes.  I hate seeing people holding signs saying god is against gays.  I was created by god in his image and I feel a special connection with him.  The connection is spiritual and personal.  It's a one on one between the two of us.  I trust him and believe.  It's hard to believe in something that doesn't exist in reality.  It's even harder to believe that someone else has a greater connection and it's their mission to help him out.  History has a lot of stories about people doing horrible things in the name of god.  The idea of working for God and doing his will is crazy.  What gives you the right to do his work?  Does he really want you to hold that sign by the side of a busy street outside an abortion clinic?  I can talk with god just as you can but you're saying that god gave you these directions to give me.  If I ever give advice about religion I'll ask the person to just pray for an answer to a question they think would help.  If I said anything else it would only hurt the situation.  I can't speak for him.  The idea that anyone could speak for god is insane. When I'm at church I'm focused on a spiritual path.  I dedicate an hour to god and try to tune out what's going on during mass.  Going to church is like a sacrifice to me and I feel guilty I feel that way.

This was written because of a facebook post.  I don't watch football but I know who Tebow is and tonight he's a loser.  Sorry Broncos fans :(

ick

A razor blade forged from invention, cold, and smooth.  I force myself across your skin and leave a valley of freshly cut skin.  A river of warm thin blood soon fills the newly formed valley and coats my smooth shiny edge.  I stop for nothing and continue my journey downward getting deeper with every inch.  Vein, muscle, and fat now stand in the way of me completing my mission but offer little resistance.  Bone is the only brake this vehicle has.  Scratching and scraping away at bone I continue the line I started narrow and true.  This will soon be my last chore and when it's complete I will be discarded.  This is my purpose and the reason I was created.  In a few moments nothing will matter.  I feel the end drawing near and the momentum is finally extinguished and I lie still.  As I look forward I realize all the things I might have accomplished.  I could have done so much more with my existance.  I could still be useful if only fate would have started me elsewhere.  I could have started the cut somewhere with little resistance in my path.  I could have followed in another's path to lessen the hard times.  The edge once so sharp is now imperfect from the battle with bone.  Half of my edge is stuck in bone.  The other half is still sharp and willing to work but cannot continue on without the other half.  The blood once so warm and thin is starting to gain density while losing warmth.  My once shiny surface is now covered in red and a bead slowly forms at my tip forming a drop which gravity pulls to the floor.