Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Modern Day Olympics

What's wrong with making a car faster or an air conditioner colder?  I'm an American and I like my cars fast and my ac cold.  Why won't we let the athletes release their whole potential?

I'm not saying we should force athletes to take steroids.  That's a terrible idea.  We should just encourage them to use it.  We certainly shouldn't punish them.  I want to see someone run the 100 yard dash in 8 seconds.  I'm sure a horse could do it.  Why can't a human?

I was born a nerd with little athletic ability.  I couldn't be a pro athlete if I wanted to.  I can't use my brain to think the football across the goal line.  I could however invent new types of steroids to help our current athletes be better.  Each team could have a coach, assistant coach, water boy, and steroid expert.  The coaches would need to be armed just in case a junkie athlete goes roid rage on something.

There are too many rules.  Nascar has rules for the type of fuel and engine the cars can have.  I say tear down those barriers and lets put some rocket fuel in the tanks.  In a sport that simple there should only be one rule.  Whoever makes it around the track 90 times the fastest wins.  We're not out to eat popcorn and watch some cars jog around the track.  We're here to be inspired.  Better shoot the drivers up with steroids too.  If you're gonna juice the car better juice the driver.

If we keep our current coarse the athletes will need a lawyer at every match.  Rules bring lawyers.  Lance Armstrong is accused of shooting up with his own blood.  It's called blood doping and he basically gave himself a blood transfusion.  He needs a lawyer now because charges are being pressed against him.  What's this world coming to?  Nature didn't say "Wait tiger don't eat that dear because it's got a broken foot" ...no nature said "eat that gimp dear"

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Modern Day Crap on the Radio

I'm starting to believe no junk no soul.

Brad Nowell took heroin because he thought it would make him a better artist.  Guess what...it worked and it also worked for Ray Charles, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley and many more.  I like listening to the music because you can feel some emotion.  They aren't just singing to get a paycheck.  As long as they get enough money for the heroin I'm sure they don't care.  Ray Charles actually beat the addiction. He is the perfect example of the system working.  He took heroin for years made great music and then quit.  It's like a fairy tail ending.  The princess got her prince back.

In my day there was a pretty good chance the band might get too drunk or high to sound right.  That's the only reason to go to rock concerts.  It wasn't rehearsed and anything could happen.  A 90s band would just roll with it.  A bottle could fly through the crowd and smack the lead singer with an above average chance he wouldn't notice.

The tragedy with modern day music is that the "artists" will live a long time.  All my bands died off because of the drug use.  They died legends.  Their music will live on forever.  The crap that's on the radio now will die off long before the "artists" who made it.  Both will die and be forgotten.  

I doubt there is any hope for Justin Bieber.  I'd like to see someone continually dose him with heroin till he created something with emotion or until his brain melted into jello.  

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Hatin on the Haters

What would Buddha do?  He'd probably use his zen and hate em back too.  The haters are the people on the air waves preaching about family values.  They're the same people who judge drug addicts and voice their concern with a a belly of prescription pills.  I'm hating on you rush.  I'm not even capitalizing your name you stupid ass.  Social media has changed me.  When I log into facebook and see a talking point from that idiot something breaks inside my brain.  I black out for an hour and wake up in a daze.  After I raid the refrigerator for beer and red meat I realize what I've done.  I've destroyed a republican's brain.  I suppose it's their own fault for sharing the point of view from a racist, fat, hateful idiot.  


It didn't bother me in the 90s.  I could just switch the radio to FM.  The problem is the internet.  I can't get away from the bs.  I refuse to get rid of my facebook page. I wouldn't want to deprive my 20+ friends of my point of view.  It wouldn't be right.  I refuse to delete people for political reasons.  I think if I ignore them it will get worse.  It's my duty as a human person to try and sway these viscous republican monsters from their warped sense of view.  

+1 if you agree they should shoot the crew of fox news into the sun.  

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Modern Day Temperature

It is hot.  I found out from a republican friend of mine that the earth is going through a normal climate shift that happens every 1000 years or so.  He also said that volcanoes put out 10 times more CO2 per year than all the vehicles combined.  I wonder if he was talking about earth or some other planet.  I wonder because he said that with a straight face.  I told him that here on earth humans are causing the planet to warm up.  We have smart people called "scientists" that actually know what they're talking about. They measure the level of CO2 and they know that it's rising.  They also know that CO2 traps infrared light.  Infrared light warms makes things hot.  


I swear, the next yahoo that tries force feeding me that crap is going to get knocked out.    READERS, PLEASE USE VIOLENCE AGAINST THESE PEOPLE.  We'll call it a green crime.  It's like a hate crime against idiots.