Thursday, September 10, 2015

Hate like how I like to hate


First off.  Look at how happy she is!!  Isn't that great?  Mike is forcing a smile and pretending to care.

What if Kim Davis is a genius?  Maybe this was a complex plan to meet her one true love.  Stranger things have happened.

This is probably one of the greatest days of her life.  Look at how happy she is.  I wonder if she was that happy on any of her previous 4 marriages.

So, here's how I think she got to this moment.  She obviously watches fox news.  She was watching fox the day the SCOTUS came down the pipeline.  Hannity probably filled her head with anti-gay rhetoric.  Then a lightbulb went off in her brain.  She realized she has a tiny amount of power that she can use to help Hannity and Huckabee.

If she used that tiny amount of power maybe she could one day be on fox news with Hackabee.  All she needed was some gay people in her county to show up for marriage licenses and her plan would be on its way.  She sat quietly at work and kept her plan secret.  All day she waited for two men or two women to show up asking for a license and then BAM she'd meet Huckabee and maybe get married to him and have his baby. She waited all day and no one showed up.  She thought to herself how can I get some gays in here so I can piss them off and get on the news and then get Huckabee to impregnate me?

Her plan was simple.  She would just spread the news that she would deny licenses because of the SCOTOS thing.  That would piss off the liberal media and then they would talk about it and then gays would show up asking for licenses and then Fox news and then Huckabee twins.

So, she made up a story about how religious she is Leviticus 18:22 Leviticus 18:22 Leviticus 18:22.  She had to keep repeating that so she'd remember.  So, she's now super holy and loves the bible and the SCOTOS people hate the bible, but Huckabee loves the bible and pretty soon BAM Huckabee twins.

She wasn't thinking too much about the consequences and the legal problems involved, but after the word got out a miracle happened.  The Liberty Council called her.  Now, Kim Davis is kind of a simple person.  She doesn't like the fame that all this is bringing her.  She also doesn't like the legal ramifications of her decisions.  She might go to jail for not obeying the law, but the Liberty Council loves attention and they love law because they're a law firm.  A law firm and a hate group.  They wrapped Kim Davis in a protective shell of their biblical law.  It's kind of like sharia law, but for Christians.

So, the liberty council couldn't protect her and she went to jail.  She got back out of jail and then Huckabee told the media he'd take her place.  He whispered in her ear "I like the way you hate like how I like to hate".  He again said that he'd take her place as long as his hate filled delicate flower didn't have to go back to jail.  Her plan is nearly complete.  All they need now is a quiet room together and then BAM...you know the rest.