Even while I write this I feel nervous. I'm not sure why I'm nervous, but I feel like I should be doing something else. I have this feeling all the time. I can't read books because I don't have the patience. I want to read books. Reading is much better than watching tv. I can't wait on the toaster. I always pop it up before it's finished. I eat raw toast a lot like an animal. It's like i'm a prisoner in my own existence.
Once in a while I'll get caught up in something and I'll just let it go. It's weird because I took 3 years to design a PCB but I couldn't wait 30 seconds for the board to cool down and I nearly burned my hand testing it out. Who spends 3 years designing a PCB and can't wait 30 seconds before trying it out? Pass the xanax please!
Sometimes the right song will come on at the right time. I might be pissed off and bam they start playing rage against the machine on the radio. The car next to me is probably saying "wow a pissed off nerd". Look at him jamming out. They're just lucky the road is in between us or I'd kick their ass. When this happens I'm definitely in the zone and not worrying about anything.
Watching tv with my daughter in my lap. Everything melts away. If I sat with her in the morning I'd miss work. If she'd sit there long enough I'd starve. She's my whole world. It's a good thing she can't sit that long.
Some people joke that they'll catch me stare into a ceiling fan and zone out. We've all done it before. I think people who disrupt this type of meditation should be shot. It's like zen. 99 percent of the time I'm doing something or atleast thinking of doing something. Let me have a moment where I stare into a wall. This is when the real work gets done. All the lights shut off and some real 'outside the box' thinking happens.
I imagine that if this feeling was stronger I'd have to be medicated.
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