Random weird stuff to say:

My wife  says compromising is something quitters do


No one understands how wonderful I think I am


watched two and a half men last night and today I feel retarded


I love everything about the foo fighters except the sound of the lead singers voice, the lyrics and their style of music.


I actually watched a little puff of smoke come out when I licked my index finger and put it on my shoulder.


Bob Marley makes me feel black.


peeing always cheers me up(only works if you're implying you can have a big unit)


Google+ makes me smile when all I want to do is cry


Good thing I tested that before I pushed it like a fart...


thinking before you speak is like....uh sh*t...


my normal is crazier than your crazy